I was talking to KK over at Pink, Green & Southern the other day via email. We learned, fairly recently, that we are neighbors living just a town apart from one another. Our busy plans have prevented us from getting together but plans are in the works for one day in the very near future... I emailed her because I have been going through Dressing Woes (for a couple of years now) with Rebecca. I wondered if she was experiencing the same as I was, as the Mother of a Tween. Is this a Tween thing, or a Girl thing? I also wondered.

I am fairly traditional when it comes to dressing my kids. I do not let them out of the house in "sweats" unless they are going out to the park, playground or off to play sports. I actually used to send them out to the playground in regular clothes but got frustrated when the green and brown stains wouldn't come out. Even in play clothes I expect my children to look tidy. I know that their friends often walk around looking like slobs but I do not approve. My children are a representation of me. I care what they look like. And I know others do notice. I have, over the years, been told over and over again how nice my children look. They are always dressed appropriately. It actually bothers me to see children (adults too) walking around in sweats. Messy hair also bothers me. And I am ridiculously all over my kids about their hair. I'm weirdo like that. So, while I am still paying for my children's clothes, they will dress as I see fit. My boys are not allowed to wear camouflage. I prefer collared shirts to T-shirts, though I will let them wear nice T-shirts for play.

My boys have no issues with any of this. I won't buy or make them wear anything they don't like. Perhaps boys are less fussy. Alexander's favorite color is pink. He has a great pair of pink khaki shorts and a slew of pink polos in a variety of shades. Christopher used to wear pink. He looks great in it. One day he was wearing a pink polo under a navy sweater and a pair of jeans. A little boy (that I never liked much!) made fun of his pink shirt. And that was the end of that. I was so saddened by it. I am hoping that one day he will go back to wearing pick... or that he'll believe me when I tell him the new pink shirt is really orange... So far it's not working!

It's nice that for the boys the styles are fairly preppy. Classic clothes are easy to find these days. I used to have to hunt around getting the best items for the children at Talbot's Kids. Sadly they are no more. While I love Crew Cuts their clothes run small, shrink and are pricey for every day boy play. I've been happy to find some nice stuff at Gap and Old Navy. The Ralph Lauren outlet provides the majority of their wardrobes and uniforms. It's not my boys I have issues with. It's Becca.

She's always had her own sense of style which was paired with my influence. As a young girl she would only wear dresses. A mother's dream. I kept her hair cropped with little bows on the side. When she was really young, in preschool, she would not be separated from her tutu. She wore it wherever we went. It was cute to watch her walk around with her little pink tulle tutu over her leggings or striped tights. Or when she would insist on dressing herself with her polka dotted jumpers worn over a striped shirt, paired with argyle tights there was something adorable about her mismatched attire. It revealed her personality and her little girl fashion sense.

And then she started to grow up. And the bows were tossed into drawers never to be worn again. The adorable dresses are now only worn for special occasions. I love her friends. She's found herself a good group. These girls are smart and kind and great students. But, truth be told, I'm not a fan of how they dress. They are 10 and dress, well, not as I see fit for a 10 year old. Abercrombie, Areopostale and Juicy are all the rage. I'm not a fan of these styles. I think they are too sloppy and too revealing for little girls. And they verge on gaudy -- some more so than others. But these are what her friends wear and so now this is what she wants.

We have lots of clothing battles here. Lots of tears because I am not nice and not fair.

So I let her have a couple of Abercrombie and Aeropostale shirts. But she cannot wear them wherever she wants. I won't buy her anything that says Juicy on it. Because I won't... on principle. And her body style is not one that wears these slim fitting things so well. I explain that instead of wearing what might look good on her friends, she needs to wear what looks good on her. She's starting to get that. I see a sparkle in her eye when she knows she looks good. A see a certain confidence.

I completely understand her wanting to be like her friends and wanting to fit in, but I think as her mother I still have the right to approve what she leaves the house in. Some tell me to leave her alone. However, by gently guiding her I do not think I am either squashing her sense of style or personality. She's only 10 and I know I am in for a few more years of this. If there were better options out there we would not be having these issues. Why are clothes so adorable for little girls but not for the older ones? Why, as soon as one enters a Size 10 or larger does everything seem So Hoochie Mama-ish? There are a few designers who are exempt from this, but even Ralph cuts his stuff so slenderly (Is that word? Well, it is now!) that even his little dresses hug their little bodies. I'm more partial to the Lilly shift style. And luckily Rebecca likes those too, but not daily! (My wallet can't handle it!)

I know that KK has these same issues with Miss Priss. I think I have it a bit easier as Rebecca's just 10. I know this battle will get harder over the next couple of years. I am prepared to fight! I just don't know what I will do when the abercrombie and sloppiness turn into Tory Burch and Lacoste? When I am telling her that she cannot dress like that until she gets a job... or wear the same size I do!!!