The longest two hours of my life!
For those of you who do not know where I am, I am in Newport for one final time this summer. I was kind of dreading the car ride to begin with because it seems, that as of late, we've been spending a lot of time in our car. But our reason for coming will have made the drive all worthwhile. (I can say this today, but not so sure I could have yesterday!) I'll be meeting PreppySue and Gabi (Tickled Pink & Green) and their Little Ones at the beach in a couple of hours. We are very excited!
But yesterday was a different story. The day started off badly to begin with. Then as soon as we got into the car Tantrum #1 started. Alexander was annoyed that I could not find the video game that he wanted to play because he didn't put it away. (We can plug video games in to the monitors in front of them.) And when he stopped screaming about that he moved on to a few other things. I had a few minutes of crying before he thought it would be fun to start shrieking at the top of his lungs. And of course I tell him not to which makes him want to shriek louder and longer. And then all three are bickering and asking how long we've been in the car and it hasn't been 5 minutes yet because we have not stopped off at the Mobil station. As soon as I pull in I load up on the junk to keep them all quiet for a few moments. When I come out with bags, of cheese filled pretzels, Combos and corn stick thingamagigs I am suddenly the best Momma in the world. I divvy up the loot into 3 Ziplock bags. And the sound of quiet is so blissful that I contemplate stopping at each and every Mobil station along the way!
Then we approach New Haven and the Howlonghavewebeeninthecar? and the Arewethereyet? questions begin. Then Alexander starts pitching a fit because he dropped his toy computer and cannot reach it and neither can I and with the truck next to me unable to keep to his own lane I sure as hell am not going to try. And he shrieks louder. I know at this point Daddy would have blown a gasket and I feel that I could explode at any minute but cannot. Then there is a large black SUV on my butt but I am not getting out of his way because I am a good 5 cars distance from the car in front of me and I will be a good driver and not give in to this jerk's bullying. Then the truck who can't keep to his lane approaches again. Rebecca looks for the "How's my Driving?" sign and thinks we should call his boss. But there is none. I manage to pull ahead, way ahead and pass a guy resembling ZZTop with his long grey beard flowing out the window of his orange Hummer 2 or 3 or whatever it is. The sight makes me chuckle. The noises and bickering in the background are a constant. I turn up the music in attempt to drown them out. "Life is a highway, I want to drive it all night long" plays on the radio. Clearly whoever wrote this tune did not have children. Because no one in his or her right mind would ever want to drive all night long with children. The bickering ensues. The biting, poking and hair pulling continue and I continue to sing along. Until I can no longer the children. Until their pillow fight nearly knocks me in the head. I shout some more. My throat is raw and sore. We are just past New Haven with hours to go before I sleep. I clearly should have taken the road less travelled.
I threaten to step on the breaks and toss them out the window. They don't believe me.
Alexander asks for his water and then proceeds to have another tantrum when it accidentally drops it causing it to roll under my seat. Arewethereyet? No way. Not close. Not by a long shot. I start questioning the wisdom of this last trip. Eventually they manage to stop bickering and actually get along. I can hear laughter and giggling and ohmygod the shrieks! Only 2 more minutes have passed according to my car's navigation. I'm looking forward to a nice glass of wine when we get to Newport. I don't care what time it will be.
There are no good songs on the radio. I keep changing the station. At one point it actually gets quiet and I turn my head around in hopes that all three are napping. Nope. Not this trip. I shouldn't get so lucky. Then come a series of really stupid Why Did The Chicken Cross the road jokes? I mean really stupid, but the kids are laughing. Cracking up. Hysterically. Ohmygod the shrieking. The clock is moving much too slowly. It's like the car is on a treadmill going nowhere.
After the jokes stop the kids think they have not done enough whining. Then I convince Alexander to watch a movie. Sometimes I should not ever open my mouth. Christopher turns on his screen. Alexander turns on his. They each have different movies on. Whoops! Alexander is angry that Christopher gets to watch Home Alone and he has Madeline. "I hate Madeline! Madeline's stoopid!" he shouts. I remind him that he loves Pepito. But I am wrong. Because Pepito is stupid too. Somehow Christopher convinces him to watch and a few minutes of peace and quiet ensues. Until Alexander drops his headset. Over and over and over again. Oy!
I'm still not liking what the clock on the car is telling me. It seems as though the faster I drive the slower the clock ticks.
Finally a large green sign welcomes us to Rhode Island! Yay!!!! There's still an hour left of our journey.... ugh!
I try a new route this time. I usually cut through the bucolic country side and take the back roads by the University of Rhode Island which is lovely and lined with pristine country side, cows, corn fields and farm stands galore. This time I stay on the highway a little longer. I get off of I-95 and am supposed to turn onto some route but the kids are screaming once again and I miss the directions. I look at the map and see that I need to get into another lane. I manage to do so in the nick of time and make the necessary turn.
At this time it's not the kids asking Arewethereyet? but me. The journey can not get any longer and any more miserable. Eventually we find our way to the Jamestown and Newport bridges and know that the end of the trip is in sight. I breathe a huge sigh as I sail over the Newport Bridge only to see that our ramp is closed and we have a long detour behind many, many cars. And Alexander has to pee. Really badly. Right now. Ugh. And we are sitting in traffic and the ground next to us is being dug up for new plumbing. During the height of tourist season. Yep, that's Rhode Island for ya! Oy.
Eventually we are released from the traffic jam and cruise along America's Cup, Thames, Wellington and Ocean Avenues... we pull in to my parents home and I run out of the car and head straight for the wine. Well, not really. But I wanted to!
But yesterday was a different story. The day started off badly to begin with. Then as soon as we got into the car Tantrum #1 started. Alexander was annoyed that I could not find the video game that he wanted to play because he didn't put it away. (We can plug video games in to the monitors in front of them.) And when he stopped screaming about that he moved on to a few other things. I had a few minutes of crying before he thought it would be fun to start shrieking at the top of his lungs. And of course I tell him not to which makes him want to shriek louder and longer. And then all three are bickering and asking how long we've been in the car and it hasn't been 5 minutes yet because we have not stopped off at the Mobil station. As soon as I pull in I load up on the junk to keep them all quiet for a few moments. When I come out with bags, of cheese filled pretzels, Combos and corn stick thingamagigs I am suddenly the best Momma in the world. I divvy up the loot into 3 Ziplock bags. And the sound of quiet is so blissful that I contemplate stopping at each and every Mobil station along the way!
Then we approach New Haven and the Howlonghavewebeeninthecar? and the Arewethereyet? questions begin. Then Alexander starts pitching a fit because he dropped his toy computer and cannot reach it and neither can I and with the truck next to me unable to keep to his own lane I sure as hell am not going to try. And he shrieks louder. I know at this point Daddy would have blown a gasket and I feel that I could explode at any minute but cannot. Then there is a large black SUV on my butt but I am not getting out of his way because I am a good 5 cars distance from the car in front of me and I will be a good driver and not give in to this jerk's bullying. Then the truck who can't keep to his lane approaches again. Rebecca looks for the "How's my Driving?" sign and thinks we should call his boss. But there is none. I manage to pull ahead, way ahead and pass a guy resembling ZZTop with his long grey beard flowing out the window of his orange Hummer 2 or 3 or whatever it is. The sight makes me chuckle. The noises and bickering in the background are a constant. I turn up the music in attempt to drown them out. "Life is a highway, I want to drive it all night long" plays on the radio. Clearly whoever wrote this tune did not have children. Because no one in his or her right mind would ever want to drive all night long with children. The bickering ensues. The biting, poking and hair pulling continue and I continue to sing along. Until I can no longer the children. Until their pillow fight nearly knocks me in the head. I shout some more. My throat is raw and sore. We are just past New Haven with hours to go before I sleep. I clearly should have taken the road less travelled.
I threaten to step on the breaks and toss them out the window. They don't believe me.
Alexander asks for his water and then proceeds to have another tantrum when it accidentally drops it causing it to roll under my seat. Arewethereyet? No way. Not close. Not by a long shot. I start questioning the wisdom of this last trip. Eventually they manage to stop bickering and actually get along. I can hear laughter and giggling and ohmygod the shrieks! Only 2 more minutes have passed according to my car's navigation. I'm looking forward to a nice glass of wine when we get to Newport. I don't care what time it will be.
There are no good songs on the radio. I keep changing the station. At one point it actually gets quiet and I turn my head around in hopes that all three are napping. Nope. Not this trip. I shouldn't get so lucky. Then come a series of really stupid Why Did The Chicken Cross the road jokes? I mean really stupid, but the kids are laughing. Cracking up. Hysterically. Ohmygod the shrieking. The clock is moving much too slowly. It's like the car is on a treadmill going nowhere.
After the jokes stop the kids think they have not done enough whining. Then I convince Alexander to watch a movie. Sometimes I should not ever open my mouth. Christopher turns on his screen. Alexander turns on his. They each have different movies on. Whoops! Alexander is angry that Christopher gets to watch Home Alone and he has Madeline. "I hate Madeline! Madeline's stoopid!" he shouts. I remind him that he loves Pepito. But I am wrong. Because Pepito is stupid too. Somehow Christopher convinces him to watch and a few minutes of peace and quiet ensues. Until Alexander drops his headset. Over and over and over again. Oy!
I'm still not liking what the clock on the car is telling me. It seems as though the faster I drive the slower the clock ticks.
Finally a large green sign welcomes us to Rhode Island! Yay!!!! There's still an hour left of our journey.... ugh!
I try a new route this time. I usually cut through the bucolic country side and take the back roads by the University of Rhode Island which is lovely and lined with pristine country side, cows, corn fields and farm stands galore. This time I stay on the highway a little longer. I get off of I-95 and am supposed to turn onto some route but the kids are screaming once again and I miss the directions. I look at the map and see that I need to get into another lane. I manage to do so in the nick of time and make the necessary turn.
At this time it's not the kids asking Arewethereyet? but me. The journey can not get any longer and any more miserable. Eventually we find our way to the Jamestown and Newport bridges and know that the end of the trip is in sight. I breathe a huge sigh as I sail over the Newport Bridge only to see that our ramp is closed and we have a long detour behind many, many cars. And Alexander has to pee. Really badly. Right now. Ugh. And we are sitting in traffic and the ground next to us is being dug up for new plumbing. During the height of tourist season. Yep, that's Rhode Island for ya! Oy.
Eventually we are released from the traffic jam and cruise along America's Cup, Thames, Wellington and Ocean Avenues... we pull in to my parents home and I run out of the car and head straight for the wine. Well, not really. But I wanted to!