Update on Day 4 of Summer Vacation: Sigh...

June 12, 2010 Jessica Moseley Gordon

So, on the Fourth Day of Summer Vacation (but who's counting?) I decide that we are going to go strawberry picking because it is supposed to be a glorious day here in The Nutmeg State and the rain has stopped and my need to get my children out of my house and hair has reached epic proportions.

My kids need to get reacquainted with nature. Strawberries are the perfect means. Strawberries, my children, grow on small plants that come from the earth. Our beautiful mother earth. Strawberries are not to be confused with those red, rubbery sticks found at the movie theaters next to the Milk Duds. Sigh...

Of course my children moan and groan that they don't want to go. Of course they do. They are my children and this is what my children do these days. Sigh...

But I make them anyhow. I force them to get up and showered and dressed. You're wearing that? I scream to my boys who come downstairs in grubby T-shirts and track pants. I make them change. Twice. Yeah, I am a mean mother. The meanest there could be. But when my children are with me I want them to dress appropriately. God, I sound like my own mother... Sigh...

Boys eventually emerge looking handsome as ever and I praise their efforts and shower them with kisses. My four year old asks if he can have candy today as he sees my sudden good mood. Know how to make him cry real quick? Say NO! Sigh...

We're ready to go. I have the car packed with a cooler filled with water, juices and snacks for the ride home. I don't want to stop off at some junk food joint because they are starving. And after spending nearly $300 at the grocery store this week they'd better eat my food.

I send the kids to the car as I set the alarm and everyone's fighting, well only the older two are, but "everyone" sounds so much more dramatic, no? The older two are vying for the front seat. (Children can sit up front in Connecticut from age 10 and up.) OK, Christopher is 9 and I let him ride up front to school, 3 miles away. Don't judge unless you have been in my house and heard my children bicker. I can't take the fighting. I need a ~~Valium stiff drink~~ time out. No one is allowed up front today. I like it best that way anyhow. I get to control the radio and the volume! (I like it louder than the children do!)

Finally a sense of calm is restored, but Lexus' stupididioticfrigging navigation system does not recognize the address of Jones Family Farms in Shelton, CT. According to my nav this place doesn't exist. I say a few choice words to it and go back inside after yelling at the kids that this is all their fault! (Yes, remember I am also the Cursing Mommy, or Prep with The Truck Driver Mouth if you prefer. And yes, La Jolie Grandmere would totally frown upon this.) According to the address on the farm's website I wrote the address down wrong. Sigh...

We get to the farm and some friends are there and waiting for us. Others are not. We wait for the rest of our crew for about 10 minutes and then decide to make our way over to the strawberries fields. They'll find us when we get there.

The strawberries are divine this year. Could not be more perfect. My children, are quite the opposite, however. Christopher is bored the minute we get out there. Rebecca won't smile for any picture I want to take of her and Alexander refuses to listen to me. At all. I am tempted to run like hell and leave them all out in the fields. Thankfully Rebecca's best friend's older sister is there. Alexander adores Jennee. He idolizes her and will do anything for her, including listen. So I entrusted him in her care.

as close to a smile I'll get from Rebecca

Jennee... isn't she adorable? No wonder Alexander hangs on her every word!

I'm not so sure what he's doing here... not so sure I want to know!
Yes, I know this looks innocent enough, but remember this is Alexander we are talking about!

After our berries have been picked my kids are invited over to a friend's house. Christopher can go but Rebecca cannot. She has soccer practice in the afternoon and I cannot let her miss another. All of a sudden two children scream at me about how life is so unfair and I am mean and they never get to play or do this that or the other. Yep, that's me... Mean Old Mommy. I remind Rebecca that she has already had a play date and a sleep over this week and that this weekend she has a slumber party. I think I should let Christopher go off on the play date. Another mother can bring him home to me. Alexander has a class party at the beach in the evening so he'll have some time with his friends too.

I pay for my goodies which somehow total $40 dollars! These purchases include my 10 pounds of strawberries, a head of fresh lettuce, some garlic scape -- long greens that resemble scallions -- and a bottle of Strawberry Serenade, a pink sparkling wine that has just a hint of sweetness. I'll let you know how it is when I try it!

I bid farewell to oldest son and get the older two situated in the truck.

As I reach back to grab my bag in search of sun glasses my hand touches something stick. Pardon my French, but oh Fuck me Now! Gum is on the rug. The vents on the floor in the second row are releasing hot air for some reason -- I've been meaning to take car in to get this fixed -- The gum is soft and gooey and all over the carpet. I scream, and yes I do mean scream at Alexander as I am driving. It was his gum and there is no denying it. This, in addition to the tar (I think) that somehow magically appeared on the leather seats a couple of weeks ago, sends me into a screaming fit about my kids having no respect for my things and my new car. (Well, she's 13 months old.)

Alexander is in deep doo doo and he knows it.

Once home I Google "How to remove gum from carpeting."

Someone suggests pouring a ton of vinegar on it and letting the acids eat away at the gum. I try this. Great, now the Lexus smells like a friggin' French Fry factory. I try the ice cube trick. It works a little bit. Eventually I scrape most of it away using a sharp metal object. While I am in the depths of my car I realize how disgusting it is. I really need to have it detailed but am not dumb enough to do this as we head into the summer months. I pull out the shop vac, leather cleaner and Windex. I do a decent job. I am relatively pleased.

Later that evening we are all at the beach with Alexander's classmates and parents. A glass or two of Chardonnay at the beach at sunset does much to erase the day's troubles. The kids are all playing well and having a wonderful time. The adults are all playing well and having a wonderful time. The troubles of the day are literally melting away... Sigh...