In The Mother 'Hood

August 13, 2009 Jessica Moseley Gordon

I lost a Follower. I wonder if it is an issue with Blogger (this has happened in the past) or if I offended someone in my last post. I didn't mean to. I will make no appologies for my opinions. I hope you will respect mine as I respect yours. I didn't mean to come off as a snob, and I hope that my post was not construed as snobby (snotty?!) but I do have issues with how lazy some people have become. Seriously. I take pride in how I raise and dress my children. This goes hand in hand with manners. Dressing properly is respectful. Being polite to people is respectful.

My kids have slews of "playground" clothes. They can dress more casually at home and at the play ground. I used to dress them nicely and then gave up when I could no longer keep up with mud and grass stains. When we have some place specific to go to, whether to doctors' appointments, running errands or the like my children do need to look nice. No they do not need to be dressed up but the boys need to have collared shirts, polo shirts are perfect. No wrinkles or stains. I don't go out looking like a slob and I expect my children not to either. Simple as that.

Rebecca constantly fights me on this. She is my Slob. I went through the same thing when I was her age. I do not expect her to be in skirts and dresses but I do expect her to be tidy. Clothes cannot be wrinkled. Hair must be brushed. She knows what is allowed and what isn't. Most of her friends walk around in outfits I do not approve of. I know it is unfair. I don't care if Amanda wears her Juicy Couture sweatsuit to Broadway. You will not. It's a matter of respect, really.

I will not dress my 10 year old in something that says "Juicy." But that's me. I finally gave up the Abercrombie battle. But even Abercrombie wear (unless it has a collar) can only be worn in to certain places. I'm all for uniforms and school dress codes. I understand that children often express themselves through their wardrobes, and that is fine. Pajamas are not a wardrobe. Jeans, so tight that I can see The Great Continental Divide, are not either. There have been terrible items in wardrobes for decades. I remember this all too well. Those mesh half shirts that were so popular in the 80s come to mind. The 80s spawned a Fashion Hell of sorts but I don't remember people walking around in my youth looking like they had crawled out of bed or walked out of the house in a state of half dress. I mean when did this happen? When did people stop caring? And this is not a generational thing. I see Grandmas out and about in sweatsuits bearing the names of various tourist destinations looking not much different than the high school coed wearing pajama bottoms emblazoned with their favorite sports team. What happened to Grandmas in House Coats? Have they been replaced by sweat suits?

My 10 year old is a slob. We've talked about this before and I know that I am not the only one with a Tween Slob. She's starting to see her friends wear various labels and designers (other than Juicy)... many of her friends have clothes that I would not dream to buy my child. My children will learn to respect their things, clothes and otherwise, and take care of them before they get anything terribly expensive. I told Rebecca, after finding everything in her drawers a wadded up, wrinkled up mess, that her entire wardrobe would come from Target. (I had just refolded everything a week before.) She told me that was fine, Target has cute stuff. (No denying this.) She must have forgotten, however, that she wants a pair of Uggs. To replace the Uggs that her grandmother got her for Christmas last year that no longer fit her. I'm not getting them for her. I'm serious. My point is that one can get dressed and look respectful without spending an arm and a leg. There's nothing snobby about that.

And making fun of Kate Gosselin's hair? Everyone's doing it... no apologies there! It's not like I am judging her parenting skills. While I might not agree with everything she does I would never begin to criticize... I do not have 8 children and often have a hard time with the three that I do have!

So yes, manners and appearance are important to me. It's something I have instilled in my children and I do hope that when they are old enough to give a damn, that some of this will rub off on them much the way pleases and thank yous have. We're still working on it, they're not perfect... nor, for that matter, am I!

But childhood is not all about manners and learning. Having fun is equally as important. They're what memories are made of, after all! And we have had a memorable few days in Newport. We met up with my friend Marie and her adorable children at the beach for what turned out to be a picture perfect day! They played hard and well. We all swam in the ocean and jumped over waves and dug in the sand and chased seagulls and rode on carousels and bumper boats and enjoyed a nice, late afternoon swim in Moo and Popsy's pool. After they left Alexander told me that he wanted them all to stay over for a big sleepover... we'll have to work on that!

On Wednesday we swam in the pool all morning and after lunch we went to the play ground and then out for ice cream at The Newport Creamery where it was declared (by the boys) that Crazy Vanilla was the best ice cream ever! From there we went to play with our cousins and then headed back to Moo and Popsy's in time for dinner.

This morning we woke up to pouring rain. There were three sad and disappointed children. All they wanted to do before going back home, was to swim in Moo and Popsy's pool one more time. How could I disappoint?

While they swam I sat beneath the over-sized umbrella, wrapped in towels, wearing a sweater and doing my best to wear a smile. It was wet and cold out (mid 60s) but the kids were having so much fun... how could I deny them this? After about 45 minutes, I ushered them all back inside. This would have been a perfect occasion for a pair of warm, comfy sweats! (Unfortunately high temps and humidity were what was forecasted.)

My hiding spot to stay fairly dry!

Below: a visitor!