I had my MRI and my consult with my orthopedic surgeon last week. We went over the films together. What to do? I was not pressured into a decision. I was told that after 3 dislocations that chances are great that it will dislocate again. There is no telling when. Could be within the year or within 10. What to do? The dislocations themselves are horrendous. 10 out of 10 for pain. Up there with labor and natural birth. I just can't go through that again. And I've spent my winter in fear. Terrified of every little and large patch of ice. Watching my every step, fearful that one trip of slip will send me toppling down and out will go my arm to catch me, to brace my fall. And out will pop my shoulder. Sure it's easy enough to say I'll use my other hand to brace my fall. But it won't happen. I am left handed, very dominantly left handed. I'm screwed. I haven't gone sledding or ice skating this winter. I don't want to be limited over the summer.

Obviously I will be after the surgery, to some degree, but I won't have to worry about my shoulder popping out while I'm at my parents in Newport and they're out leaving no one to watch my kids... Ok, my aunt and uncle are there and my cousin is there all summer too, but what if I can't reach them? Or worse what if we're in Maine (lots of family there too) but it just seems worse for it to happen there... on vacation... at the beach...

So my decision was made as I stood in front of my doctor and panicked about all the possible what ifs. And if the shoulder did dislocate again then the damage could possibly be worse than it already is and surgery would be inevitable at that point. So on with the Big Girl Panties. Surgery it is. We discussed what the surgery would entail and recovery time. We discussed limitations and what to expect.

I came home and discussed this with my husband. He thought I should put the surgery off until September. But that's such an incredibly crazy month. And I'll be in Nantucket the last weekend with Gabi, Mama Henley, Bevy and KK. No way no how I am going in a sling and only partially mobile! (After all, since I'll be in a sling I won't be able to hold my cocktail properly. We must look at all the important issues girls!)
And my husband has never dislocated his shoulder, or birthed a child for that matter. He's never had to experience this pain. So he's not going to chose when the surgery will be. Besides, there really is no good time. So might as well get it over and done with.

So as of yesterday I have pre-op date scheduled for  April 2nd for a mini physical to make sure I can handle the surgery and anesthesia and answer any final questions. My operation will be on Monday, April 10th. Egads. No eating or drinking from Midnight forward. Ack! Hope the surgery is early!!!

Much of my day yesterday was spent in fear. I shed a few tears when I learned that I will have to be in a sling for 3 weeks and unable to drive for that amount of time as well. I immediately called my doctor back. How long would I be miserable? How long would I be in pain? Apparently anesthesia in shoulder surgery has a higher nausea rate... don't know why... I hate throwing up and I hate pain, I told him, on the verge of tears. I was told I would be given anti-nausea meds if needed and some Percodan. I can't take Percodan! I told him. It makes me throw up... I was teetering closer to a full-out cry.

I was assured that I could have something else. Vicodin is good. Good, I like good meds. Some people, I was told, are really only uncomfortable for a few days. Others a little longer. Great, I think I know which group I'll fall into. I'll get my stitches out in 10 days. I'll start physical therapy in 14 days. While still in a sling? Won't it... hurt? Yes, it will, I was told. And I can and should pop some more pills when that happens. Great, doesn't he know I live for my daily glass of wine? I thought I had a reputation! What'll I do? I can't have (I'm pretty certain) wine and Vicodin?

Who is going to take my kids to school? Who is going to take me to physical therapy? Who will cook and clean and take care of my family? Who will keep the house from falling down? How will my family survive?

As I panicked aloud on Twitter last night Shopaholic In Alabama and Caroline Grace told me that I reminded them of Karen Walker! ( The greatest compliment e-ver!) And so I wondered, and now ask you... What would Karen Walker do?

(For those of you waiting with baited breath, more stories of my youth will follow in the days to come!)